Confirmation: Proof which shows that something is true.
I’ve never questioned myself the way that I question myself now. I honestly believed that after I worked my last day at Sam Houston Middle School on January 31, 2014, that many doors were going to open for me.
They didn’t, and to some degree, they still haven’t. Doors have either been slammed shut in my face or just not answered at all. Still I continue knocking, and through my relentless pursuit, some doors have opened. Yet, because the doors opening aren’t as many as I would like, I doubt.
Bills do not care that I am currently struggling with my finances. Every beginning of the month I am reminded of that. So, I doubt.
In August, I was told that I wasn’t confident enough when I speak by the president of a speaker’s bureau. Am I not a good speaker? I doubt some more.
I don’t like doubting myself. There was a point in my life where I was always fearless and felt like I could take on the world any day of the week. Lately, the burdens of my world have left me weak and tired.
Some of my favorite movies are from the Rocky series because I can relate so much to them. I am an underdog just like Rocky was. And just like Rocky won fights that many people doubted he could win; I too, have won several fights.
Yet now, I feel like I’m in a battle I can’t win. I’ve been beaten badly just like Rocky was by Clubber Lang, and the easy thing to do now is walk away, but I can’t.
I need a sign. I need something to tell me that although doors are being slammed in my face and my savings are depleting at a quick pace, I am on the right path. I need a sign to remind me that no matter what my situation looks like right now, the best is just around the corner.
Last Monday I traveled to Detroit to train a group of thirty police officers from the Detroit Police Department. I enjoy training police officers, especially when they come to the trainings in uniform. They have guns. Therefore, I feel safe.
However, it can be a bit intimidating for a non-law enforcement presenter to speak to a group of police officers. Yet, if there is anything that has helped me throughout my speaking and education career, it has been my transparency and humility.
I don’t pretend to know everything, and I definitely do not think that I am better than any one person that I am speaking to. My goal is to empower my audience to use their gifts so they can be the best they are capable of being whether in the classroom, leading an organization, or educating students.
I did what I do best. I spoke from my heart, was passionate, and engaged the class in meaningful discussions. It was a great success.
After ten hours of delivering my content to them, I felt energized. Though, I was fatigued, I was strengthened. I didn’t need a sign at that moment, but little did I know, I was going to get one any ways.
One of the officers came to speak to me after the training was over. He shared with me how he didn’t want to come to that specific training in Detroit because he knows police officers aren’t always the best students in a training session, but then he said…
“You had us. You kept us engaged. You were funny. You were real. “
Next, and probably the best thing he could say to me, was,
“There is a great spirit inside of you. Keep at it young brother.”
Encouraging words. My sign. Confirmation that I am on the right path.
The journey continues.